The Derby Ram

Refrain

And, it’s true, my lads, it’s true, my lads, I never was known to lie,
and if you go down to Derby, you’ll see the same as I.

This ram he had four feet, sir, on four feet he did stand
And every time a foot went down it covered an acre of land.

This ram he had two horns, sir, they reached up to the moon,
A boy went up in January and he didn’t come down till June.

This ram, he had a tail, sir, it reached right down to hell,
And every time he waggled it, it rang the devil’s bell.

The man that killed this ram, sir, was drowned in his blood
And the little boy that held the bowl was washed away in the flood.

The little boys of Derby, sir, came beggin’ for his eyes
To kick about the streets, sir, for they were football sized.

And all the women of Derby, sir, came begging for his ears
To make ’em leather aprons to last them forty years.

Now if you don’t believe me, sir, or think I tell a lie
Just ask the folk of Derby, ‘cos they’re bigger liars than I.